John McCain, we've learned, is computer illiterate, and not knowledgeable about the internet.  That may concern some people worried about a president who doesn't understand arguably the most fundamental technological development since the invention of the internal combustion engine.  

Fear not.  I was recently briefed by one of McCain's tech advisers, who demonstrated for me some newfangled gizmos a McCain administration would use to keep America the world's leader in technological innovation and application.

John McCain isn't adept at dealing with digitized information, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about digits and computations.  For instance, to keep track of all the lobbyist money coming to his campaign from corporate special interests and tax dollars going out as favors to the same corporate special interests, his administration would use this nifty technology:

It's often said we live in an information age.  McCain has many technological answers to the problems of dealing with information.

Here's how he plans to stay in close contact with overseas governments and leaders:  

For domestic transfers of information, this is his solution:

McCain won't neglect infrastructure.  He plans on placing his "good friend" Ted Stevens in charge of developing a vast series of these:

McCain expects to put the US at the vanguard of biotech development with these:

McCain would commit America to cutting edge treatment for mental illness:

It's time to wean ourselves off of our over-reliance on gas-guzzling SUVs and large automobiles.  McCain's plan?  Mass transit:

McCain recognizes that our modes of freight transport need to revamping.  He has some wonderful ideas for harnessing previously underutilized sources of energy:

Are you tired of horrible service and delays when you fly?  McCain has an answer to our overburdened air transportation system:

Terrorism, of course, remains a threat; McCain will propose numerous technological responses.  There's this facial recognition technology:

One of the problems exposed by the 9-11 attacks was the inability of the FBI offices and divisions to effectively process and coordinate the analysis of information.  McCain will champion this new method of copying and preparing data for storage:

To see if suspected terrorists are concealing something dangerous, TSA under a McCain administration would have the best in new x-ray technology:

And in the event of an attack, McCain believes it's crucial that our first responders have state of the art equipment, such as this:

Finally, our greatest export is our culture.  As President, McCain would try to foster the continued growth of the creative class.  He would offer tax breaks to moguls like this guy who push the boundaries of cinema:

Spreading images of American life will help improve our image around the world:

And McCain himself will try to model healthy behavior by engaging in his beloved cycling:

John McCain for President: building a bridge to the nineteenth century.