Cheers and Jeers for Friday, November 2, 2007

Note:  Hearts are trump.  And queens are wild.  (Oh, honey, you got that right!)

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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Howard Dean's birthday: 15
Days 'til Hannukah: 33
Percent of the freshman class at West Point that's female: 17%
Minimum amount that religious groups received in congressional earmarks between 2003 and 2006: $209,000,000
Amount such groups received during the previous 14 years: $107,000,000
(Source: Harper's Index)
Percent of a ticket price's face value that is added in fees and charges by Ticketmaster: 38%
Number of letters in "Highway Robbery": 14
Final score of this Sunday's Patriots/Colts game: New England 226   Indy 13

And from the Department of Hopeless Security:
Days the color-coded federal terror alert system has been in place: 2,061
Days spent at terror alert level Blue or Green: 0

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Puppy Pic of the Day:  This is why I'm open to making my next car an Audi.

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CHEERS to little teases.  We saw this yesterday at the YearlyKos Netroots Nation blog and our endorphins spiked:

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We've almost locked down the date and location for Netroots Nation 2008.
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Just in case there's a contest underway to guess the time and place, I say it'll be in American Samoa on April 19th.  (We hear the winner gets a free bowling ball.)

JEERS to Shock and---[yawn]---Awe.  Holy neocon wet dreams, Batman!  The media just discovered that former defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld is batshit insane!  And next week they'll report on new revelations that the Great Depression was a bit of a downer.

CHEERS to the silence of the quills.  The Writers Guild of America is going on strike.  They're (rightly) demanding more money for their work, along with a promise that they'll never again have to write anything for Rob Schneider.

CHEERS to must-see TV.  Tonight on Real Time with Bill Maher, the Great Orange Satan leaves the comfort of his fire pit to plant subliminal messages in the minds of Americans.  Or at least the stoners watching HBO at 11 O'clock:

This week, Bill welcomes actor Martin Short, journalist Alison Stewart, and blogger Markos Moulitsas.  Plus, via satellite, former CIA officer Valerie Plame and former Ambassador Joe Wilson.

I hope he took my advice and packed a pocket square.  It's making a comeback.

JEERS to the crumbling American empire.  How low has our influence in the world sunk lately?  So low that the United States Navy is being threatened...by pirates!!!  I've never seen a vice admiral walk the plank before.  Somebody take pictures!

CHEERS to an extra hour of sleep.  Daylight Saving Time ends this weekend, so don't forget to turn your clocks back Sunday at 2am.  (Yes, you must stay up until 2 or else it doesn’t work!)  If you're a Democrat, turn them back one hour.  If you're a Republican, turn them back 50 years.  

JEERS to panic on the street of Wall.  Goddammit you stock market jerks!  You said Wednesday that if the Fed cut interest rates by a quarter of a point you'd send the Dow up to the moon.  But yesterday you panicked.  You got scared.  You turned yeller.  And you sold your stock like little baby sissies.  You...make...me...sick.  Oh, and your mother called.  Until you start buying again (today's 27 point "recovery" hardly counts), she hates you, too.

CHEERS to Old Mullethead.  Happy 212th birthday to James Knox Polk, the only House Speaker to become president (thank god the possibility of a President Dennis Hastert is long gone).  Despite protests from some members of Congress, he "exaggerated" his way into a war with Mexico (saying something about the "smoking gun that could come in the form of an exploding burrito").  But, unlike the current war president, Polk worked hard and accomplished an aggressive agenda which was good for the country.  Democrats...such showoffs.

JEERS to Old GamblerPhilandererTeapotdomehead.  Warren Harding---one of the three worst presidents in history along with James Buchanan and George W. Bush---was born on this date in 1865.  One thing he shares with fellow Republican Dubya is his abuse of the English language: "I would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good, our tasks will be solved."  And then I'll put food on your family and wings will take dream!

CHEERS to the netroots in action.  Y'know, as much as I enjoy seeing Republicans get knocked off their parapets, I think I enjoy watching Republican-lite Democrats get smacked around by progressive candidates even more.  Who knows, if we do it enough times, maybe our leaders will take the hint that our bedrock principles don't need to be watered down with a dash of conservative wingnuttery.  So if you can, please toss a few bucks to Donna Edwards' primary campaign in Maryland's 4th district and help the netroots help her help incumbent Al Wynn "spend more time with his wife and kids."  Who says liberals don't care about family values?

JEERS to presidents who don't pay attention.  President Bush says Democratic leaders should stop listening to entities like MoveOn.org and Code Pink.  The Democratic leadership happily complied...about 10 months ago.

CHEERS to story math problems. Pay attention, this one is tricky:  Sunday is November 4th.  TV news icon Walter Cronkite is celebrating his 91st birthday.  At the same time, First Lady Laura Bush will be celebrating her 61st.  You only have enough money for one gift.  What fraction of a second will it take you to conclude that Cronkite deserves the gift more than B...  Wow, that was fast.

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One Year Ago in C&J: November 2, 2006...

JEERS to losin' it.  A quick summary of the situation in Iraq: the prime minister says the violence is "nearly out of control" so 100,000 more Iraqi troops need to be trained in addition to the 325,000 who were supposed to be trained by now but aren't and anyway the training sucks and they can't afford it even if it was the bestest training in the whole universe but on the bright side we opened a couple more crates of soccer balls for the kids.  Any questions?  [11/2/07 Update: And how is that Iraqi army training working out one year later?  Oh, swell--- if you're training an army of drunken ballerinas.  At this rate we'll be lucky to leave by the time the Earth collides with the sun...]

CHEERS to false alarms.  The feared U.S. invasion of Iran---which over 300 Daily Kos diaries said was definitely, positively, absolutely going to happen Tuesday---didn't happen Tuesday.  So who's gonna reimburse me for my new emergency bomb shelter?  Ah...apparently crickets.

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And just one more...

CHEERS to campus commandos.  Maine College Democrats, who are famous for being the first group to introduce the wedgie to College Republicans, are holding their annual convention tomorrow at Bowdoin College.  They've produced a nifty web ad that shows who they're gearing up to help get elected to the U.S. Senate next year (hint: it ain't the wicked witch looking over Bush's shoulder).  We'll be paying special attention to the workshop scheduled in room 12b: "How to Get Susan Collins to Say Macaca On Camera."  I'll send a six-pack to the first person who succeeds.

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Have a great weekend.  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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